Thursday, February 5, 2015

Dear Henry: I wanna be a pornstar?!

Every two weeks Henry cleans out the VIE MSL mailbox and takes some time to answer a question from a needy, pathetic or simply highest paying reader of this blog.

Sometimes harsh, hardly ever subtle, mostly innocent but always helpful (or at least trying to be). If you have a delicate issue you need professional help with - just go out and get some... if you can't afford it and nobody else wants to help you could always consider e-mailing Henry.


Hello Henry,

I think have a simple question and I'm convinced you're the right person to ask cause you have seemed to make it big time in the SL adult industry.

How do I get to be a pornstar?

John Reremy



Hey John,

First of all... being a big time and established pornstar is not as easy as it looks. I realise I make it look easy, being one of the biggest names in the industry and still remaining such a normal and sympathic guy.  But you have to realise that most stars in this porn world turn into hating, drama-loving diva's.

Anyways - if you think you can handle all that and are up for the task to perform at any moment despite some of these ladies in the bizz looking like they've been runover by a few hundred guys to many... there are a few simple steps to get you started:
  1. Look good... even if the others don't - you need to look your best. Sure... that requires L$ but it's not like you have a life and another goal in life to spend those... (or you woulnt be asking that question here)
  2. Network... become a member of the current groups (*SL PORN* and The Sexiest: Pornstars) and get ready for some serious kissing ass of very annoying people. Not a nice bunch i tell you... arrogant, drama-horny and pretentious as hell... then again.. you wanna be a pornstar - so you better get used to kissing some ass, sucking some dick countless times before every being selected in this clique driven community.
  3. Yes it's normal to have sex with directors... (btw. for the females out there - I know a few important people, if you make sure I have a good time I can probably get you into a good movie a lot sooner then all this truly great advice here)
  4. If you do get a shoot... don't complain and do as being told... the producer is working his or her ass off to make you look good - the least you can do is do anything he/she asks off you... yes - even if he or she is a sick pervert... you wanted to be a pornstar right?
There you go... easy 4-step program to being a pornstar. Damn I'm good! I should write a book, get filthy rich and never have to worry about getting any pussy ever again...

So... no worries John! It's not as hard as it looks - then again, that might just be your problem right there. I'm off to get me some - hope to see you soon on the other end of one of those arrogant little  porn bitches!

Henry



2 comments:

  1. lol debates whether to change to info for how to get started at the porn info center... ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL. Ass kissing is your passport to stardom!

    ReplyDelete