Dear Henry: Sexiestgate!

Every two weeks Henry cleans out the VIE MSL mailbox and takes some time to answer a question from a needy, pathetic or simply highest paying reader of this blog.

Sometimes harsh, hardly ever subtle, mostly innocent but always helpful (or at least trying to be). If you have a delicate issue you need professional help with - just go out and get some... if you can't afford it and nobody else wants to help you could always consider e-mailing Henry.


dear Henry,

I finally turn to you with my urgent issue since you seem to know a few people in and around the business? I entered the Sexiest Awards for my part in this truly amazing movie. Now the nominees have been announced and I'm not one of them. Not to brag or anything but I have seen these other movies and to be fair they all suck so much I can't even decide which one is the most boring. 

Now I know something fishy is going on! No way all these supposed to be great judges selected this shit before my legendary accomplishment if they really did their jobs objectively and judging on quality.Now let me very clear - I'm not saying that cute head-judge or the organizers/sponsors had something to do with this but something is wrong on so many levels here. Somebody in the business is clearly having trouble accepting us t-girls and doesn't want us in the awards. First they lobbied to us not getting a separate category and now they have simply bribed all the judges not to choose us. This should be named Sexiestgate instead of Awards!

I even contacted that Linden company about this and somebody obviously very scared told me to not contact them again if I cared about my account. This is huge! This is obviously bigger then last years "let's not watch movies longer then 10 minutes" scam  everybody talked about... yet nobody seems to dare to stand up this time?

Please Henry - stand up for us?

kind regards,

Ebony Thorkfaith


Ebony,

I agree on one thing with you... there's something fishy about all this. I entered the awards as well and didn't get selected - now I'm not a t-creature or doubt-male so your conspiracy ideas obviously are just that... conspiracy theories, silly ideas, paranoid illusions of a freak of nature. And as long as we are being honest - who needs these "I-want-it-all"-genders anyways? Make up your mind for g*d sake - be a woman (I'll do you...) or be a man (keep your distance) but don't go looking all hot and desirable until your drop your pants and turn out to have a bigger dick then me... that's just scary, freaky and is one of the few things that can actually be a turn-off for me... amazing I know...

Anyways - back to more important matters; the Sexiest Awards. There really is only one problem: the judges have no clue! The evidence is clear in this matter. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury: I entered the contest, I didn't get picked - I see no other possible conclusion besides that these judges don't know shit!

Do I care? not really... am I bummed I'm gonna miss the party? Hell yes... but I'll ask around.. who knows - maybe one of those t-females need a date and I'll be able to attend after all...

suck it up!

"Oscar" - Henry

p.s. that cute head-judge was actually one of the women I did my "supposed-to-be-SexiestAward-winning" scene with so you can imagine my surprise of not being nominated... she sure won't get any of this anymore!